That Red Line Means You’re Lazy

June 25, 2010

Some Internet browsers actually have a built-in spell-check feature. As far as I can tell, it’s the default setting for them.

So, much like in MS Word, when you type an unusual word, or have a typo, or a misspelled word, the spell-check feature will underline that word in red.

Neat, huh? So why the HELL are there so many online posts with typos and misspelled words?

Some people can barely post TWO words without a typo or a misspelling.

Others, by not using punctuation or initial caps, and including multiple typos, “Text message” abbreviations and “Internet spelling,” produce messages that look, at best, like some kind of stenographer’s shorthand, or at worst, like they type with their feet.

“But it’s just the Internet.” (See my earlier post for comment on this.)

It’s LAZY. And you can’t convince me that some who is that lazy online is that fastidious off-line.

Lazy is lazy. Or, if you are one of the people I’m talking about, it’s “Layz,” “Layze” or or maybe even “LA-Z.”

(By the way, while I strive to always spell-check and proofread, sometimes errors get by me. It’s tough to proof your own copy- especially if it’s more than just a few lines. So if you catch an error, a typo, let me know. I’ll fix it. I’m that way. But please note that some grammar and spelling is purposely not correct –for effect or to make a point.)

With This Ring, I Thee…What?

June 19, 2010

Marriage is construct that’s in direct opposition with our animal instincts.

Few animals mate for life because natural instinct dictates that their biological imperative is to spread their genetic material with multiple mates in order to propagate their species.

Of course this kind of behavior in higher, reasoning species who are part of society causes problems. Envy, jealousy, and conflicts tend to arise.

Plus, there are issues about housing, division and sharing of resources and raising children. So, a very long time ago, some wise, religious leader figured out that promoting monogamous relationships would create a more harmonious, prosperous condition for everyone.

Plus, if he told people that a higher power spoke to him and told him that’s how it should be – lest you incur the wrath of that higher power – people would actually do it.

But even as the institution of marriage was created and evolved, it integrated reminders of our true, animal nature. Like wedding rings, for example.

Women’s engagement rings and wedding rings are expensive and showy. They say to the world, and specifically other men, “I am in a committed relationship with someone. I am not available to you.”

Plus, depending on how expensive the ring appears to be, also tells other men just how prosperous their spouse might be in relation to any potential suitor. It sorta says: “You must be wealthier than THIS to even attempt to tempt me away from my spouse.”

Some of this tradition surely comes from a time when women were regarded more as property acquisitions or family treaties than an equal partner.

Men’s wedding rings are traditionally plain and not showy. (I said, traditionally, Guido.)

This is because they are not there to show other women that this man is in a committed relationship with a particular woman. It is there to REMIND the man that he is in a committed relationship with a particular woman.

Kinda like a string tied around the finger to help you remember something.

Thousands of years into our social evolution, men are still fighting that natural instinct to seek out multiple mates. It’s biology that also makes us notice healthy, good-looking women that may be younger than we are. After all, men remain capable of their half of the reproductive equation well past the age that women are able to successfully bear children.

Cultures that are more in-tune with their animal instincts may also have measures of relative attractiveness for women that are directly related to reproduction, like large breasts or large “child-bearing” hips and buttocks.

Biology makes them catch our eye, but socialization makes us not turn our head.

And those rings on women’s and men’s fingers remind MEN to resist our animal instincts.

Spellcheck That Tattoo, Dude.

June 19, 2010

When does writing start to “matter?”

On more than a few occasions, people have commented about my frustration with poor online grammar and spelling.

“Why do you get so upset?”  “Relax, it’s only the Internet.”

Hmmm.

Ok.  Let’s say that you’re writing a short note to your roommate or spouse to let him or her know that you drank the last of the orange juice.

You might grab a scrap of paper and write, “Were out of OJ,” and attach it to the ‘fridge.

Now, if we were to re-write that sentence using proper grammar and spelling, it would say, “We’re out of O.J.”

But we really don’t need to do that. After all, the communication is casual, it is intended for only one person and the intended recipient is familiar.  Also, the meaning is quite clear and the note is ephemeral  – it will only be on the ‘fridge for a very short time.

Instant messaging and then text messaging by phone created a similar form of quick, casual communication. Because messages were quick, temporary exchanges, between friends, and in the case of texting via phone, done on the go, punctuation, grammar and spelling took a backseat to brevity.

A shorthand developed – with abbreviations – brb = be right back, omw= on my way, btw= by the way, and so on.   “You” became “u,” “Too” and “to” became “2,” etc.

Just like that quickly written, temporary note on the refrigerator, these exchanges are casual, very ephemeral communications between close associates.  So very informal language is appropriate.

Postings on the Internet, on the other hand, are a bit different.

Depending on where you are posting and what your privacy/viewing settings may be, your post may be read by all of your friends, all of your friends’ friends, people who receive it via forward or repost and also, complete strangers.

Posting something online in public forum definitely exposes your writing to a much larger audience, made up of mostly strangers.

So this communication is not casual. And not temporary or fleeting, either.  Things posted on the Web, in theory, stay there forever.

In that permanence, it’s a lot like a tattoo.  And you’d think that someone inking a tattoo would want to be more aware of proper spelling than someone who’s just writing in the sand on a beach.

But, no.   There are plenty of misspelled tattoos out in the world.  They’re also posted in galleries on the Internet. http://www.oddee.com/item_96504.aspx

Why are misspelled tattoos so funny?  Because they are public and permanent.

And, in a way, so are your posts on the Internet.

I Know Who Will Replace Simon Cowell On “American Idol”

June 12, 2010

As you probably know, this was Simon Cowell’s last season on “American Idol.”

Next year, there will be someone new sitting in his judge’s chair, and Idol fans are all abuzz about whom it might be.

Buzz no more. I know who it will be. SPOILER ALERT!

It will be a “mean” British guy.

The show has a formula and it has been quite popular so far, so why mess with success, right?

Americans believe that British people are automatically somehow “better” than us or at least “think” they are better. You know, with all that uppity speaking English correctly and all that.

So he’ll have to be British.

And he’ll have to be “mean.”

True, Simon played a character and embellished his criticisms to play to his TV audience, but the fact remains that in most cases, he was just being honest.

And “honest,” in the age of tee-ball sensitivity, is mean.

“Tee-ball sensitivity” is how I describe the current belief that any criticism of young people is far too harsh.

Currently, in tee-ball, all the kids get to run the bases, whether they had a home-run hit or not. Teams don’t keep score and every player gets a trophy at the end of the season.

The game is meant to teach the rudimentary concepts and skills of baseball. It skips, however, the basic concepts of greater and lesser players and winning and losing.

“If you at least tried, you did a good job.” ARRGH!

When kids graduate to playing real baseball, scores are kept and teams win and lose. But some of the thinking of tee-ball follows these kids for a very long time.

Flash-forward to “American Idol” try outs, in which hundreds of contestants are rejected because they are completely and undeniably terrible singers.

Some are so awful, and so delusional, that they are put through to try out in front of Simon and the gang. That’s because the drama makes for engaging television, and — let’s be honest –it’s fun to make fun of some people.

“But my mother and my grandmother say I sing like an angel! ” they say. Or “That Simon is wrong! (Bleepity Bleep Bleep) I’ll show him!  All my friends say I sing good!”

These people came to be this way because no one wanted to offer anything less than complete encouragement to them, even at the expense of honesty.

Now switch over to community theater. Community theater, by and large, is attended by friends and family of the cast and senior citizens.

I enjoy theater. I have friends who do community theater. As a good friend, I will sometimes attend a performance to see my friends and feel like I’m supporting the arts.

On one such excursion, I was disappointed to find myself at a rather lackluster performance. Even my friend did not deliver a good performance in this mess of a production. Yet, when the final curtain fell and then rose again for the cast to give their bows, the crowd of assembled seniors were on their feet with thunderous applause.

(Applause is polite and is required. A standing ovation for a crummy show is not.)

I applauded politely, but did not stand.

Later, while making my exit, I overheard some of the seniors talking. One complained that one of the actors was hard to hear and understand. Another commented that another actor seemed to forget his lines at one point. The third senior said, “Oh well, I’m just glad to get out of the house.”

Ok, that’s her excuse. What about the rest of these people, these enablers of mediocrity and outright awfulness?

People are so afraid to tread on a person’s fragile little feelings that they may be, in fact, setting them up for a much more harsh and hurtful fall in the future.

Honesty is not “mean.”

If you’re just honest with someone in your assessment of his or her shortcomings or need for improvement, there’s nothing mean about that.

If you embellish your criticism with words intended to be hurtful or unnecessary exaggerations intended to be funny or humiliate the person – that IS mean.

(That’s nearly the very definition of mean.)

Now if you’re just simply honest, with no intent of malice and the person you’re evaluating tells you that you’re mean…

Just hand them a trophy and tell them that they can run all the bases.

Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Supply Chain Professionals

April 12, 2010

As a currently unemployed person, I’ve been attending local networking events for unemployed people.

They are helpful and I’m meeting some great people. What I’ve noticed is that a lot of the people I’m meeting are Supply Chain Professionals.

I’m not entirely sure what a Supply Chain Professional does, but it does seem like an awful lot of them aren’t doing it right now.

Of course, a lot of people in a lot of different professions are finding themselves in the same boat. (Or ocean liner…or aircraft carrier. There are SO many people out of work right now.)

Even kids graduating from college right now are having a tough time finding work in their chosen field.

This got me thinking. If I had children, what types of professions would I advise them to go into these days?  “Healthcare” is the top answer that most people “in the know” would give.  But what if you know that’s not for you?

IT jobs seem like they won’t go away, but I’ve seen an awful lot of IT people at these networking meetings, too.

This got me thinking again – is it better, in this economy, to pursue a career that may have a better chance at keeping you employed  over one that you have an aptitude or a passion for?

Or, more dire still, is it better to pursue a job, or jobs,  that will keep you working instead of focusing on pursuing a career in one field?

The younger generation of workers seems to have figured it out. Or at least figured it out for now.  They treat career positions like jobs.

They “punch in” at nine and “punch out” at 5.  They don’t read trade publications, don’t attend trade meetings or industry social events.

They don’t typically take work home or think about their industry when they’re not at work.  They don’t particularly care to hang out with co-workers outside of work.

In fact, they don’t really “hang out” with their co-workers while they are at work. After all, all they really have in common is their workplace and with the high-churn environment of today’s workplace, why get to know someone who might be gone in a few months?

They use their breaks to log into Facebook and other social networks to keep in touch with their network of non-workplace friends and spend the time at their desk wearing earbuds, plugged into their iPods.

Sometimes they supplement their income – not with freelance or consulting work, but with retail jobs.

In the very likely event that they fall victim to lay offs in their main job, they can work their retail job while they look for a new job.  Perhaps in the field they studied in college –or maybe something else entirely.

Looking at every job, even a “career” position, as “just a job,” makes the job hunter a lot more resilient and their job hunt a lot more flexible.

So what ever happened to pursuing a career path? And how did this “just a job” attitude come about?  It’s simple.  These workers are just showing their employers the same level of loyalty, investment and dedication that their employers have shown them.

Half-Assed Hot Tub

April 9, 2010

Recently, I read an interview with the director of the new comedy “Hot Tub Time Machine.”  The interviewer had done his homework and pointed out that the film had a whole bunch of blatant and not-so-blatant anachronisms.  The director was half-surprised by some of the examples and tried to explain away others.

Half-surprised? Explaining away?  Granted, this is a light, goofy comedy with a light, goofy premise, but it is also a MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR PRODUCTION.  There is an entire team of writers and fact-checkers on the payroll, not to mention a team of people called  “Continuity Directors.”  On set, these are the people who make sure that things in the movie, like clothing and props, stay the same between breaks in shooting.

On the set of “24,” for example, this person would make sure that all the rips and bloodstains on Jack Bauer’s wardrobe stay in the same places for the 24-hour timeframe of the show, even over weeks or months of shooting in real-time.

Behind the scenes, however, the continuity team is also responsible for making sure that things “make sense” in the film, continuity-wise. This involves things like making sure that all the street signs in the scenes that are supposed to be taking place in Russia (but are actually being shot in Vancouver) are in Russian and so on.

In a period piece or TIME TRAVEL MOVIE, their job is to make sure that each scene is “period-appropriate.”   One of the more famous mistakes in period continuity occurs in “Ben Hur,” when a few of the extras in crowd scenes are seen wearing wristwatches.  A more recent example occurs in Cameron’s “TITANIC” when Leo DeCaprio’s character mentions a lake that hadn’t been created yet.

In “Hot Tub Time Machine” there are numerous errors. Songs playing that hadn’t been released for months, or years in the future. TV sets showing programs from the future. Movie posters and props that didn’t exist in 1986.

But I know the life of someone working on a big-budget movie must be rather hectic. With a rushed production schedule and  looming deadlines, finding time for research might be tough.

If only there were a quick, easy way to fact-check stuff… Perhaps with just a few keystrokes on your ever-present laptops or  the ubiquitous iPhone.

Oh wait, there is.

Continuity team: you’re all fired, damn it.  So you’d best all hop in that hot tub and go back to 1986 because finding a new job in 2010 is really hard. You might even have to do some research.

Lighting The Fuse

April 9, 2010

Ok, here it is, the inaugural post on AngryManDinners.com.  I suppose I should say something profound or inaugural. But all that comes to mind right now is: “Release the Hounds!”